Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Bad Doctor

I must be a glutton for punishment. I should have listened to my gut and told Hubby to cancel the appointment when the secretary called to confirm.

We went back to the pediatrician, the one that made me feel like a bad mother, because we have not yet found a replacement. I weighed my son myself, and saw that he had gained 8 ounces since the last appointment, so I had hoped that the doctor would have been satisfied with that. He was not.

My son has grown an inch and gained 8 ounces and while he is still on the small side, he looks good! He is starting to take notice of his surroundings and he scoots when he is on his tummy. He rolls from back to front and front to back and he has started to grab things, especially my hair and necklace. He has the most beautiful smile with a dimple on his left cheek. We supplement his diet with one bottle of formula a day, usually when I am busy in the kitchen and no amount of comfort from daddy will quiet him. I like to think of it as when daddy and son can bond together over a drink!

At the doctor's office today, he was quite upset when we told him that we were not giving him the 7 bottles of formula a day like he told us and said we were stunting his brain development. My husband told the doctor that the boy eats and pees and poops just like all our other babies did and his slow gaining was exactly like the first child we had. While examining our son, he found nothing out of the ordinary and told us to go to the hospital to run additional tests as to why he isn't gaining faster. We said no.

I told the doctor that we feel our son is doing just fine and I would never deprive my children of medical attention and care and if I thought he needed to be tested, I would take him, but I don't feel that is necessary. My husband and the doctor did most of the talking, with the doctor turning his back on me. He wants us to come back to see him next week and I told the husband that I will not be taking my son back to him again.

The doctor seemed taken aback when we were firm in our convictions and belief that our son is doing well. I think he is used to people agreeing to whatever he says to do. He started to say this and that, and my husband calmly said that he was not going to argue with him, but that we don't agree with what he said. The doctor's brochure says he believes in breast-feeding, and my husband pointed out that breast is best, isn't it? I even quoted Trapper in a comment she left and told the doctor I was raising a baby not fattening a hog.

We will be making calls tomorrow, to find another pediatrician that will not push the panic button when a baby doesn't follow the "normal" guidelines.

I love my son with all of my heart and soul and I know that he is fine. But when there is a doctor like that, it makes me doubt myself and I start second-guessing what is best for my son. We are going to continue to do what we have been doing all along, and dammit, I will not be made to feel like a terrible mother for doing it. I have raised 3 healthy little girls and I am raising a healthy baby boy, too.


Throwback at Trapper Creek said...

Oh Jenny, is there a La Leche league around you anywhere you can get some reassurance that you are doing what you think is best for your child? They can help, and at least be an advocate for your family.

A friend recently went through a messy divorce and when she disciplined her teenager, he pouted and called DAD, now her children have been taken from her, and it is up to her to prove that she isn't a bad mother. The situation is different, but people get power hungry and can take a situation and run with it. And, unfortunately most of these doctors have been brainwashed, but that makes them even more dangerous.

I'm sorry you had such a bad day, I'm glad your hubby went with you. You would think that doctor would see that a stressed out mother and father is bad for the young ones...

Take care

DJ Kirkby said...

If your son is gaining weight, growing and moving through his milestones such as moving around (he'll be crawling soon at this rate) then you know very well that doctor is a bit mental!

Patty Keen said...

My dear Jenny, you are a wonderful Mommy! Hell, if the world had more Mommies like you, I personally feel we wouldn't have had more fat teenagers now.

Breast is best, IMHO. Yes, I agree with throwback. Get the La Leche League (LLL) around your area and join it. You'll never believe the power of the LLL.

It is my suspicions that the doctor has been used to people "obeying" him and not used to others rebelling against his "golden words". It could be that he's been used to being on a power trip for so long and to be taken down a notch or two by your husband and you as a team, he's not happy about it.

I'm very sorry to say that but what doctor that would go against the Hippocratic Oath- ' First do no harm'- towards a wee child.

A bad doctor that would subject a baby to further testing to make himself feel better & punish parents.

You and hubby have been doing your kids good. *BIG HUGS JENNY*

Much love,
Patty oxox

Lisa said...

I'm new here, but... you go girl!! Many a time, a mother's intuition about the health of her child flies in the face of the "experts" and yet she is the one proven right!

I agree with DJ, if he's doing what he should at his age, peeing and pooping regularly, then he's just fine!

I had the opposite problem, although nobody ever questioned my parenting. My first child was 10 pounds and the second, 9 1/2. They stayed big and tall according to the charts for most of their babyhood.

My girlfriend's daughter was average birth weight, but really porked up on just breast milk. People used to stop her and ask what she was feeding the poor infant, so she adopted a trailer trash accent and said, "meat and potatoes!" That usually shut them up!

Deaf Pixie said...

I am totally sick of doctor doesnt know to deal with deaf parents about feeding baby. I go through similiar with my second daughter. she was underweight as natural in 20 percent in the chart. Dr say why she is not gain.. I say her birth father is similiar he was baby.

I feel like to yell at doctor.Shut-up!

Lantana said...

How frightening for yoou! Even tho you know for sure that your baby is FINE, the doctor put a little fear into your heart?! My 2nd great-grandson is like your son. The first one gained rapidly and was really chubby by the time he was 9 months old. But this 2nd one is more wiry and is on the "small side" even tho he eats alot and is on table food now that he is 8 months old. He has huge hands and long arms and legs! 'Very alert, and yes, he is breast fed, too. No two babies progress at the same rate. My 3rd child, a boy could not talk until he was 3 years old, but then he talked like an adult! And he graduated the top third of his class in high school. Phoey on that doctor, you did right by quitting him.


Wendy said...

Mother's milk really is the best food for babies. Unfortunately, most doctors today are accustomed to seeing babies who are mostly formula fed. Their charts are actually based on those babies' growth rates, which differ significantly from how babies on breast milk grow.

I'm glad you didn't let that doctor bully you into a bunch of unneccessary tests. Your pediatrician really should be your partner in ensuring your child's health - just as your doctor should be your partner in your own health. If you're at odds with this fellow, please, please find another doctor. In fact, it would actually be better to NOT take your child for "well-baby" check-ups than to take him to someone who stresses you out.

Lisa C. said...

LaLeche rocks! I had the LaLeche book in 1983 when my oldest son was born and I nursed both of my boys.
I don't take any bad labeling words from any doctor.

Put the doctor into asylum!