Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Storytellers and The Worrywarts

You know how there are some people who take things out of proportion? You tell them a simple thing and they run with it, stretching it to an enormous, impossibly large size and make it all seem so crazy?

I have someone like that in my family.

So does Hubby.

You take those people and you learn that there are certain topics you don't talk about with them or in front of. You love them just the same, but also know there are limits to the capacity of their world. I do mean 'world'. They live in their own little world where they are the center of it and if it isn't right in their minds and it doesn't fit neatly into their plans, it doesn't stick and slides off their back and they decide that you are the one with the issues.

As you know, Hubby is looking for work without much success. While money is super tight, our savings are gone, and we are expecting baby #4, we are not so bad off that we are holding our hands out to family members. We have learned to live without and make do with what we have. We are finding other ways to bring income into the house, either by ebay or other means. We have had to play russian roulette with the bills some months, paying these but not those.

Someone mentioned to the person in my family that takes things out of proportion that they worried about us. Just mentioned it in passing. That person took that information and stretched it and sent an email to my mother who sent me an email this morning. The tone of the email was one fraught with worry and wondered if we needed help and now she is more worried about us than she needs to be.


We aren't upset, but now I need to smooth things over with my mom and tell her that we are ok, no need to worry, but somehow, I know that won't do. I'll have to get her to come up and see for herself that we are ok, that there is food in the pantry and there are no holes in the roof. The house is warm and the grandkids are clothed.

You know how there are some people that worry needlessly? They take every little thing and worry it to pieces, constantly rubbing it to check and see if it's alright, picking it up and looking at it in the light to make sure it still shines or there is no chip. Setting it down and picking it back up 2 seconds later. You try not to tell too much detail about such worrying issues and gloss things over a little because they worry so much.

Did I just describe every one's mother?


barefoot gardener said...

I understand. While it is nice to know that you are cared about, having people get overly anxious about something that you are handling is very frustrating.

Accept having Mom come to visit, let her come and see how well you are handling yourself, and use the time to take a little break. Let her play with the littles so you can take a bubble bath or clean house or just go for a walk.

I am sure that once your mom sees how well you are doing, she will go home much more confident and happy with the whole situation. As a bonus, you will be well-rested!

Lantana said...

Hmm, I think you will understand better when your own kiddies are all grown up, with children of their own to care for. I am one those Grandma worry warts myself and help out whenever I can. I have told my children many times that there are SOME things I would rather not know, but I am alway here if they need me.

But yeah, I agree that with today's easy communication, news travels too darned fast and is not always accurate! I have 5 grown children of my own, all with the Internet, so it is fast and furious!

Warm hugs to you, we admire your perseverance.

How about some pictures of your family sometime? We would like to put your words to a face!

DJ Kirkby said...

No you have not described everyone's mom. Your mom sounds like a blessing, appreciate her concern, at least you know she loves you, eh? Even if it is a bit anoying now that you are an adult and perfectly capable of looking after yourself? Think how you would feel if you heard 3rdhand that your girls were in the same situation?

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

You certainly described my mother. I have not told her about my hubby losing his job because 1)she'll tell my sister and I don't particularly want my sister to know and 2)she'll worry, worry, worry and hubby could find a job relatively quickly.