When Hubby and I were dating, then living together, we had a tendency to ask hard questions of one another. I suppose you could say we were trying to see what our limits were and where the boundaries lie. Make sure that we each knew what we were getting into before we tied the knot.
One day, we talked about the possibilities of children. He said he didn't really want any kids and I sorta, kinda felt the same way. I was of the mind that the world was horrible and how could anyone bring a child into this terrible place! We got married, had the honeymoon and settled into marriage happily. All around us, people would ask, "When are we going to have kids?" Then all our friends were having babies. It was unavoidable! Babies and children were everywhere!
I started feeling a little tug inside, I know I said I didn't want any kids, but I want HIS kid. All of a sudden, my point of view changed. Instead of fearing the terrible world and what it would do to my children, I thought I could raise my children to make the world better. I watched Hubby play with other people's kids and he was SO great at it! He would tussle and play, roll on the floor with them, make funny faces and sounds! I wanted him to do that to OUR kid. I brought up the subject of having a kid with him and he was surprisingly receptive to the idea while at the same time resistant. He had an irrational fear of us lugging around a moving truck of baby things when we would leave the house. A traveling nursery all packed into a huge diaper bag and taking forever to go somewhere. I had to remind him that I don't even carry a purse and when we go on overnight trips, when have I ever packed 426 suitcases full of just-in-case outfits and shoes? That isn't what convinced him-- it was the baby-making fun that did it!
As all new soon-to-be Fathers do, he was over-protective in every way. Wouldn't let me pick up a sack of potatoes. I couldn't let the cat sit on my growing tummy. Should I be drinking that? But when it came to sex, everything was OK, baby was fine! Although there was plenty of giggling, imagining the baby catching sight of a one-eyed snake!
He didn't really want to be in the Labor and Delivery room with me, he is sensitive to the sight of blood and gore. He was afraid he'd pass out and then doctors would be paying attention to him instead of me. He wanted nothing to do with cutting the umbilical cord, saying it was the doctor's job, not his. He thought it was over-rated, making daddies feel like part of the birth if they cut the cord. Hell, he helped make the baby, didn't he??? We watched a lot of 'Baby Story' on TV and it sort of prepared him for the birth of his own child.
After Oldest was born and we were home from the Hospital, I asked him what it was like, seeing me give birth. We didn't have a video or anyone snapping pictures so I only know what I saw from above, looking between my legs. He said he felt in awe, watching his child being born, but mostly, he felt sorry for my poor, stretched out coochie. He found it fascinating how I stretched and ripped and pushed that child out of me and then my body healed and shrunk and returned to normal.
Hubby was wonderful with Oldest. He burped her and changed her diapers, fell asleep holding her. It was as if he was always a Daddy. Now, with 3 daughters, I can't even begin to imagine him NOT being a daddy. He is great with the girls, plays with them, rolls on the floor with them. Tickle-fests and reads them stories. Tells them about his Navy days (the G-rated version). He melts in the middle of scolding them, when they smile and flutter their eyelashes. He puts them to bed when he is home at nights and tells them made-up stories, says a prayer and kisses them on their cheeks.
He tells me that they aren't allowed to date until they are 35, he is going to invest in a triple barrel shotgun, and create a 100 page questionnaire for boys that want to date our daughters. Take fingerprints, mug shuts and the kind of car; make, model, and license plate number. He is going to start digging a moat and should be finished by the time Oldest is ready to date.
I love Hubby with all my heart and soul. He is my best friend. He is a terrific Father. He is a Daddy. Happy Father's Day, my love.