Cabin Fever?

I'm feeling a bit frustrated these days.

There has been much going on with our daily life and then add my mom's house fire and add home schooling, it certainly keeps us on our toes.

I feel like I've been getting myself hurt a lot lately, and I interpret it to be my body telling me to slow down. Just in the month of January alone, I have sprained my ankle, dropped a log on my foot, cut my middle finger, hurt my knee, burned my hand, stepped on a broken piece of glass.. and that's just what I remember.

My mom returns to work tomorrow and while she is gone and staying with her sister during the week, I will continue to weed through the bags of burned things, sorting out the good stuff and tossing the rest. I also need to finish cleaning out the apartment and pull out all of our stuff. We had been using it for storage and putting all our ebay sale items in there.

I had been tag-teaming school lessons with another home schooling mama, but put it on hold until all this fire stuff is through. Her teaching style is different from mine-- I think I'm more of the un-schooling type and she is much more regimented than I am. I can't decide if this is a good thing, to continue to teach together, or go my own way.

I also have not been breast-feeding Baby as much, since he is eating more solids now, and I swear, if it wasn't for the morning and evening nursing, I would have had my period. I had all the symptoms of my cycle-- cramping, achy legs, crankiness (the husband can attest to that!) and just plain old misery, but I had none of the bleeding. I have tried to increase the nursing to see if I can stave off the cycle for at least another couple of months. My cycles can be brutal and I really don't want to deal with it just yet.

I am participating in a Hand Made Swap and my deadline to make something, anything, is Feb 10th. The purpose of the swap is to take pictures of the process and show that hand made anything is a lovely and natural gift. I still haven't decided what I want to make yet.

I made a doll for Middle for her birthday. We got all caught up in the drama of my mom's house fire, so I didn't get a chance to make it until a few days ago. It was a bad day. First, she was all pouty with me and told me "I don't want you". ouch Then when I started working on her doll, and showed her the almost finished doll, she complained, "the neck is too long, I don't like it." (I was going to make a choker for the doll to match the one I made for her) I lost it. I told her I was going to finish her doll, but I wasn't going to give it to her. It would be put away until she learns to be appreciative for things that people make and/or give to her.

It was a long day and one in which I couldn't wait for Hubby to get home and take over for me. I just wanted to curl up in bed with the covers over my head. I was crampy and cranky and wounded and just in a foul mama mood.

I can't seem to shake this foul mama mood-- The dog taking a poo on the floor pisses me off. The cat screeching at the dog pisses me off. The spilled tomato juice, the girls using my childhood books for hopscotch, the blank idea for the swap... it all pisses me off!

I diagnose myself with Cabin Fever. I need to get out of the house for a day and refresh myself, go somewhere new or lose myself in an antique mall, window shop and pretend I have gobs of money to buy this and that.

I love my family, but I'm seriously overdue for some mama time.

Snow and Ice

It started on Monday-- a light dusting of snow falling gently to the ground. Squeals of delight from children who have barely rubbed the sleep from their eyes-- "Snow! It's snowing!"

Tuesday was perfect-- several inches of light fluffy snow on the ground, which made for perfect sledding conditions. But can I just ask? Why does it take an hour to get 3 little girls dressed in their warm clothes, snow pants, boots, hats, mittens, and coats before I can finally send them out to their angel-making, sledding, snow-eating fun, only to have them come back in 15 minutes later shouting for hot chocolate? Seems to me the ratio of how long it takes to get dressed and how long they play outside is seriously lopsided!

Overnight, our area got hit with icy rain and we woke to a coating of ice over everything. Pretty to look at, but poor Hubby had to drive in it to go to work this morning. Don't malls ever close for bad weather? Why must people risk their fool heads and drive in bad weather to go to the mall? Do me a favor crazy mall shoppers, and stay at home when there is ice on the road, so my husband doesn't have to risk his life for you so you can shop for the latest music CD or just troll the mall, window shopping.

When the husband is away, I have to take over the wood stove duties, which meant this morning, I had to start the fire and then keep it going for the rest of the day until he gets home to take over. I had to go outside to the wood pile and get more logs and after bringing it in the house, we stack it loosely by the stove to let them dry from the snow and ice. While stacking, I dropped a log on my foot. My bare, naked foot. Oh my freakin' heck! That hurt! Instant purple! I burned the offending log, like pronto! Then I limped up the stairs and iced it. I'm alright now. Nothing broken. Just an owie.

When the husband got home he kissed my foot and made it better. Then we had hot dogs and tator tots for dinner so I wouldn't have to stand on my poor foot and slave over a hot stove. I love my husband! I forgot to put my ring on and he proposed to me again! I said yes. :o)

"Honest Scrap"

My friend, the famous author, Dj Kirkby, tagged me to do this meme. I'm supposed to list 10 honest things about me and then tag 10 others. I know memes are hit or miss-- some people like 'em and others hate 'em, so I won't tag you, but if you want to do this, feel free and let me know so I can come and see.

1. I don't like eating beans-- kidney beans or lima beans or any of those dried type beans. They taste mushy in the mouth and I only eat beans in chili. I can only eat one bowl of chili before my brain starts protesting and I don't pick them out so I can be a good example for my kids.
2. I can whistle the theme song to "The Andy Griffiths Show". I can still remember it from when I watched it as a kid and my husband tells me I whistle it pretty good!
3. Every time I take off my wedding ring when I am cooking (working dough, or raw meats), my husband puts it back on my finger and proposes to me all over again.
4. I always say "yes".
5. You know those "truth or dare" games people play at parties? I always said "truth".
6. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 13, back when they used to cost 80 cents a pack. My best friend and I used to walk to the bowling alley where they had a cigarette machine and put our money in, then get a pack of Kools.
7. I quit smoking on and off for years, but finally quit for good on Jan 1st, 2001. I've never smoked again since.
8. I once watched a guy shoplift a watch in a store in Georgetown, D.C. It happened so fast and he was so smooth that I couldn't believe what I was seeing. When the salesclerk wasn't looking, the guy reached over the counter, plucked the watch off the back wall, slipped it on his wrist, smiled at me, then walked out. It all took less than 5 seconds. It still amazes me to this day.
9. No, I didn't rat him out. I was too shocked to say anything and by the time I realized what happened, the guy was gone.
10. The first time I rode on a horse was bareback. I know why they use saddles-- when I got off the horse, there was hair all over the inside of my legs. ugh!

Interesting enough for you? :o)

I'm Grateful...

My Mom's home caught on fire last week.

Thank God for nosy neighbors that saw the smoke and called the fire department.

They found her unconscious in her smoke-filled home and pulled her out to safety. They rescued one of her cats, the other one has gone AWOL.

As soon as I got an email that she was at the hospital, I left the kids with the husband and got there as fast as I could. I found her in the emergency room, alert and alright, albeit smelling of smoke and with sooty hands. She had smoke-inhalation issues and they had her hooked up to oxygen, IVs and other things to discharge the chemicals from the smoke out of her body.

I went back to her home to deal with the fire marshall and damages. I imagined what the house would look like on the way over. It was 10 times worse than I imagined.

Her home is unlivable now. The fire department broke almost every window and ripped out both the front door and the back french doors. Her things were tossed outside and some was burned but most are destroyed from the water used to put the fire out. I'm not a firefighter, but I wonder if it was really necessary to rip the doors off like that. Broken windows I can understand, but to rip the doors off the hinges?

Seems it was an electrical fire. The fire investigator quizzed me on the location of certain things, and it looks like, from my Mom's description and the questions of the investigator, it started in the foyer. That's where most of the damage is.

We're now working on getting everything out of the house. Sorting through the destroyed items and picking out what is still good. It's surreal to see a pair of shoes fused together. Amazing how water can melt magazines into a mushy puddle. A relief to see vintage Pyrex bowls withstand the heat, the soot and char washing right off.

My Mom does not want to return to the house to live in. We set her up in the apartment we have above the garage and we are helping her in every way that we can-- making calls to the insurance company, working with the reconstruction people, the doctors and her work. I'm washing all the clothing that we salvaged and her pile of wearable clothing is slowly growing.

She grieves over the books she cannot save and worries about her missing cat. She says her life is falling apart and I tell her that things will work out, that this is a glitch and it can be fixed. We hope the home will sell quickly after we get it fixed up and she does not lose too much money on it. She worries about her future. I tell her that the most important thing is that she is alive, that she is not burned, that she is here with us, safe. Money is money and stuff is stuff, all replaceable. Her life is more precious to me and I am thankful I didn't lose my Mommy.

Hug your families. Be thankful that you have a roof over your heads and food in your bellies. Check the wiring in your home and make sure things are plugged in properly, or if it's not in use, unplug it. Make sure your house insurance is up to date. Tell your children about the dangers of playing with fire. Count your blessings, I know I am.

Five

My middle child turned 5 yesterday. Middle. She's my second girl, and between two sisters, so Middle is her name here. 5. Seems like yesterday I held her in my arms.

She came out ready to go, didn't waste any time staying inside of belly for a second longer. She still is ready to go, always doing something, dancing, singing, my little movie star.

Middle is 3 here, all her baby pictures are on film and I haven't had the chance to scan any yet. She is also my boo-boo baby-- getting many bumps and scrapes, bruises and scratches. I'm forever putting band-aids and giving "mommy make it better" kisses to Middle.

I love her even when she is misbehaving, when she picks on her little sister and then gets scolded for it, hence the tears above.

She declared to me once, "I don't want to be a mommy like you, I want to be a star!"

I believe it, I really do. She sings beautifully and I have been asked if she takes singing lessons. She carries a tune very well, I've been told, and she sings all the time, while playing with her toys, while looking at books, while just lying there daydreaming.

She asks me to take pictures of her and half of the pictures come out with the cheesiest grin ever! The kind where her eyes are nearly closed and her smile is nothing but teeth.

She is also detailed when she tells a story and reminds me of her papa when we first met and he would include details about every person in the tale which usually meant it took 15 minutes to share a 5-minute tale. Yes, that's what Middle does now and I have to force myself to be still and listen to her rambling story and sometimes encourage her to condense it a bit, but to no avail.

When I asked her if she wanted a round layered cake like I made for Youngest last week, she said no, it wasn't big enough and she wanted to make sure that everyone got a piece of cake, so she wanted me to make it in a larger pan.

Happy Birthday my dear sweet Middle. May you have many many more!

Birdbrain

We have a daily visitor in the mornings. He isn't too bright. At least we don't think so.

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Every morning, round about the same time, we have a male cardinal that comes to our bedroom window.

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Same window. Same time.

BC the cat has since learned that there is glass separating him and the bird, so he no longer hunches down and does that butt wiggle that cats do when they're ready to pounce. Over and over he would lunge at the bird, only to bonk himself on the glass.

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Finally, after one bonk on the head too many, he knew that the glass would never magically disappear or he would not pass through like a ghost.
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So now he just passively sits there and watches the bird. Maybe dreaming of cardinal roasts and cardinal sandwiches and cardinal mousses...

The bird on the other hand... He still has not learned that there is glass there and it will never magically disappear or he will never morph into a ghost and pass through it.

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So every day, the bird flies into window, sits on the sill and peers through. Maybe it sees its' own reflection and thinks there's another bird.

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Maybe it sees the cat and knows it can't get him and he's tweeting "Na-na-na-nah-nah!"

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Or maybe it's just scatterbrained.

Hey! Where'd the cat go?

Yoo-hoo!

You still there?

Hello?

"Tell Me More..."

I am so tickled that my girls love watching 'Grease'! It's one of my favorite movies and it makes my husband laugh when I mimic Sandy at the end of the movie, when she says, "Tell me about it, stud." then drops her cigarette, stomps it out then uses her foot to push Danny over.

My girls like to dance to "Summer Nights" and while I was cooking dinner, they were dancing all over the kitchen while singing the lines to the song.

When I was in high school, I was really into drama of the theatrical kind. I danced in the Fall & Spring Dance Concerts, performed in the Spring Plays and participated in a traveling Road Show and performed all over the DC area and beyond.

Here, I am dressed in an African dance outfit and me and 2 other girls performed a traditional African tribal dance. We were taught by a wonderful woman and she was part of her own performing group and her husband played the music, thumping drum beats that you couldn't help but dance to. We also performed the dance at area colleges. My friend was dressed as a flapper and she had her own dance to do in the Fall Dance Concert.

For the Spring Play, we filmed a silent movie to play within the play. It was fun to dress as a maid and have real life movie people come and film us and we had to do multiple takes over and over. If I remember right, it took all day to make and the actual film was maybe 5 minutes long. I do remember it being cold and we hopped around to keep warm when we were waiting for our turn to act.

I also did a jazz dance in the same Fall Dance Concert as the African dance. We performed to the Elton John song, "Benny and the Jets". It was the first time I had ever heard of that song and I fell in love with it. I had to do several costume changes for this dance and at the end, I morphed into a crazed fan and ran through the audience trying to leap onto the stage.

I have fond memories of my days in the theater and I had the opportunity to meet lots of people, even famous ones. I miss it sometimes, when I hear a certain song that I performed to once. My traveling road show took me to South America and to many places along the east coast; it gave me a chance to get out of school for shows and to break curfew for late night rehearsals. It opened me up in more ways than one, and I really believe I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for my performances in the theater.

We performed "Summer Nights" in our road show. We did little skits, danced and signed songs and there was a bit of a 50s section in our show where we dressed in the poodle skirts and saddle shoes with pony tails and the guys were in white muscle tees with slicked back hair. We also did "My Boyfriend's Back" and "The Wanderer".

Ahh... good times. I think I surprised my girls when they discovered I knew the words to Summer Nights. They know I'm deaf and mama doesn't hear the music that comes on the radio-- but that's only partly true. If it's loud enough, I can hear the music, but unless it's something I know, I can't tell you who it is. My internal radio is permanently stuck in the 80s.