C'mon Spring!!

Is it still February?? For a month that is so short, it sure is taking a long time to pass! Move out February!!  I'm tired of the cold and I long for warmer days. I'm tired of cold toes and fingers, and surely, my husband is tired of me warming my cold toes and fingers on him!

You know what one of the worst things about Facebook is? It's people from the warmer areas posting pictures of warm-weather activities and people are wearing shorts and flip-flops, t-shirts and they're complaining how hot it is! Hot!? In February!!  I see those photos and it makes me dread going outside in 20-25 degree weather, bundled up in my big, bulky coat, the cold wind whipping at my face and rushing in the holes of my pants' leg openings.

I have a friend that recently moved to Hawaii and she is posting near daily photos of herself at the beach or doing some warm-weather activity and it's almost enough to make me want to unfriend her at this point!! Ohhh! Warm weather, how I miss you so!

I wonder if that's partly why this winter has been so rough for me.. not just the fact that it's cold, but because I am constantly being exposed to images of warm weather.  It's different from a travel agency touting beach pictures because those are meant to be a getaway vacation from the cold and you know after your time is up, you have to return to the cold-- bummer!  But these are personal images from people that live year-round in warmer climes and they have no thought of being cold and so continue their lifestyles without worry of snow or sleet or having to bundle up in twenty layers of clothing just to stay warm. Meanwhile, here I am, sitting in a slightly chilled house (we keep it fairly cool in here and dress extra warmly) and cupping my hands around a big steaming mug of hot chocolate spiked with coffee, wearing a sweater and socks to ward away the chill. Oh Spring! Hurry up!!!

Doesn't help when the stores are also starting swimsuit sales and pushing gardening things. My pool has a 6-inch layer of ice on the top of it and my ground is still frozen solid. Imagine my shovel hitting the ground and making this sound-- thunk-thunk! If this were a cartoon, my shovel would twang and shiver and then make me twang and shiver!!

There's hope yet, though. It warmed up a little bit today, to a cool low 50's and I actually went outside without having to put my coat on! I'm dreaming of the garden and looking forward to starting a few cold-weather loving plants for the first time this year. I have hope that in 3 weeks or so, I can break a small patch of ground in the garden and get some seeds planted!

I know that because of our location, some seasons are harsher than others, and I'm alright with it. I know that Spring is coming and Old Man Winter will be getting the boot pretty soon.  Just getting a little anxious for those warmer days and it's going to feel so good shedding all those layers and feeling the warm sun on my skin again!

Post-Holiday Memories

I took the Christmas tree down today.  I'm happy to see it go, but I will miss the twinkly lights at night. We still watched movies by the lights of the tree and it made it feel all nice and cozy. I have some decorative lights I might have to put up somewhere so we can keep that cozy feeling. There is a string of lights with big bulbs (think outdoor party lights) up in the window, but they're pretty bright and not as cozy as I'd like it to be. I have some lights with tin shades, I'll try those out and see what those do.

All the Christmas stuff is put away, except for the collection of Santas and snowmen on top of the cabinet in the dining room. They go in a locked cabinet separate from all the other holiday decorations that go in the attic. Many of these were carved and painted by my Dad and Step-Mom and I love looking at them. I just want to look at them a little longer before it's time to put them away again for another year.

It was hard to decorate the tree when I first set it up. Last year was a banner year for broken ornaments and they all went into a box to be repaired, but I never found the time and put them away with the other ornaments. This year, opening the ornament box, the first thing I saw was the box of broken ornaments sitting on top and it just broke my heart. I pulled a few out-- the broken 'starfish' which was a fish dressed as Marilyn Monroe ("star" fish, get it?) and we got her before we had the kids; the cute turtle with dangly legs that had the felt flowers ripped out of the flower pot in its' arms; the roly-poly paper mache' cat that got squished... I shoved the box back into the big box and closed the lid, I couldn't bear to look at it anymore. It reminded me too much of how upset I was and how mad I got when they broke.

For a week, the tree stood there, only the lights kept it from being bare. After much pestering from the kids, I finally brought out the box of ornaments again, this time pulling out the box of broken ones and not looking at it, putting it out of sight. I was picky with decorating the tree with only certain ornaments this time... none of the old and fragile ones; none of the precious hand-made ones; none of the cheap gaudy ones that I never liked but the kids loved. Slowly, the tree started to look pretty, simple and light. I have no pictures of the tree, I'm sad to say, but you can take my word for it that it turned out mighty nice.

When I took down the ornaments, I finally went through the box of broken ones.  I discovered my heart was healing and it wasn't so hard to pick out the lost causes and throw them away. I didn't fix any of them, but put them back into the box, much lighter now and, honestly, I'll probably throw away the rest of them next Christmas. Just not ready to say good-bye.

2012 was a very good Christmas, our memories tucked away and put into the mental attic, just as I put away the Christmas decorations. Next Christmas, I will remember 2012 as the year zero ornaments broke. But more importantly, I'll remember that my children are more precious than a broken ornament.

Walking Your Own Path

 Andrew and I, after putting the kids to bed, sat and talked, and renewed our decision to keep doing what we're doing with our lives. I have learned, long ago, not to worry about what other people do or say. If it doesn't affect me, then I'm not going to let it. I don't care what color you are, what job you have, what sexual preference you have, whether you are thin, fat, short, tall, deaf, hearing, wheelchair, missing a limb...  if you are nice to me, I'll be nice to you. If I don't know you, I won't be talking about you. And if I do know you, I won't be talking about you behind your back to other people.

I can't be worried about anyone else's path but my own. If I keep worrying about that person planting flowers along their path, or someone else hacking away weeds on their path, or yet another person straying away onto someone else's path, I'm going to neglect my own path. I'm going to trip on a root or my path will develop pot holes and I'll fall face-first into a mud puddle. I need to take care of my path, keep it trimmed and neat, decorate it with some daisies and lovely weeping willows along the path.  I might not always see what is at the end of the path, but I am going to enjoy walking my path. Worrying about someone's path will cause to me to miss the beauty in my own path-- that lovely pond just behind that rise, or the butterflies flitting among the dogwood branches, the nest of bird eggs in the limbs above my head and turtles sunning on logs in the bright sunshine.

I have made my share of mistakes, strayed off my path plenty of times and lucky for me, found my way back. I am walking where I want to be in my life-- living out in the country with my lovely husband, my four children, my home, my animals, my garden...  I wouldn't change a thing. THIS is where I want to be.

Lucky for me, my husband shares the same life goals with me and we made the mutual decision to take that leap away from the city into the country life. We didn't wait until we retired to move here, we did it while still young enough to do things that would otherwise break down our older bodies. True, we might have had more money if we waited until retirement and could hire someone to do the work, but where's the fun in that? This way, we can honestly say we did it ourselves and we learned from our mistakes and turned those errors into successes.

I know I'm on the right path and I truly belong here. I can't let what other people say or think keep me from doing what makes me happy. It's been 7 years since we moved here and soon it will be 14 years since I married Andrew. Absolutely no regrets. Zero. I'd do it all over again, because changing even one thing would change the end results, and I like where I'm at. Poor, yes, but happy. Oh, so happy!

Life Is What You Make It

It's a  new year and I feel like I need to say something witty and clever and mention resolutions and express gratitude on new beginnings and blah, blah.. But truth is, new year's day is just another day to me.  It's a brand new year, yes, but the day is just the same as the day before and after it.  Andrew had to work, so it's not like we could go out and par-tay. We don't drink like we used to in the old days. Too many memories of drunken stupors and hangovers the next day. Who wants to go through that again?

When I was younger, I remember going with my parents to a party on December 31st, and I must have been 12, or 13 maybe.  I knew it was something exciting because my parents were drinking. Like real drinking. I'd never seen them drink before! But I was stuck with older kids who seemed to be all aware of adult activities and I felt pretty left out and thought the whole party was kind of boring-- could we please hurry up and go home now?

When I was 21, I could legally drink, as if age ever stopped me before, but at least now I wouldn't get in trouble. A real good friend of mine, her older brother was hosting a party in the basement of their parent's house and it was some party!  I actually liked the champagne! It was dark and there were strobe lights, the music was bass heavy and pounding. People were dancing and I imagine kissing, too, though I had no one to kiss.  You want to know where I was at that party?  Hanging with the DJ, who happened to be a good friend of mine, and helping with the music.

For as long as I can remember, if there was a party and I was there, somehow I always ended up helping in some way-- helping with the music; helping dispense the beer from the kegs; refilling chips and dips in the kitchen; picking up empty cups and helping to clean up. Even if I was the guest!  I never felt like a social butterfly, flitting around and making small talk or going from group to group and being the life of the party.  I've always felt a bit like a wall-flower and I would get tongue-tied at conversations- what do I say, what can I talk about, what if he comes up to me and says something?!? So I kept myself busy, it was easier to say "hey, how ya doing!" then have an excuse to leave by saying, "I'm helping out, gotta go!"

I do better in small groups, when the conversations turn deep or there's actual substance in what we talk about. Where I can learn more about the few people there and make connections and maybe, become closer friends with. Living out here in the country is easy for me, I have an automatic excuse not to go to big social events by saying I live too far.

And New Year's Resolutions? I don't make them anymore. I'm sure there are people who faithfully make them and follow them, but I bet there are more that only last a week and then go back to old habits. I'm pretty happy with myself and my life, I don't see that there are a lot of changes I want or need to make about myself.  I'm comfortable in my skin and it's taken me a long time to get to this point in my life. Resolutions, to me, are about making improvements in your life and I feel like anytime is the time to make improvements, not just that one day a year.

Though I am happy with myself, I am always trying to improve things around me. That's a daily struggle-- keeping the house clutter-free, feeding my family healthy meals, doing my part to live greener and improve my corner of the world. Teaching my children to be good people and loving them. Making sure Andrew knows that he is appreciated and I am thankful for all he does for us. Remembering to count my blessings and be grateful for what I do and don't have.

Here's to a new year, I hope you're as happy with your life as I am. You have every day this year to make changes so if you fail your new year's day resolution, make another one. Who says you have to wait until new year's day?

Sweet and Simple

                               

It has been a good Christmas this year.

The kids are still playing with their new things, 3 days after, so I know they are happy.

I bought presents on sale with coupons throughout the year, and that was a major help-- when Andrew lost his job, we already had more than half of our presents bought and stashed away.

There were no big ticket items, just small things for each of our children, and a few shared items.

Even the gifts they got from other family members have been toned down, something I appreciate greatly since I always feel bad that I cannot reciprocate.  I know they enjoy giving, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty when I cannot give in the same fashion to them or their children.

Every year, I make fudge, cookies, candies and bars to give as gifts.  I didn't make very much this year, it feels like time got away from me and I chose to spend time with the kiddos or doing other things. I think it's time to accept that I'll never make over 800 cookies like I did for a few Christmases before the kids came along! I did manage to make two different ornaments to give as gifts this year and I love them!



Felt rooster and fimo clay snowflake



better shot of snowflake detail

I got the rooster idea from the Better Homes and Gardens December issue..  I just eyeballed the ornament then made my own pattern and ran with it! I can't remember where I saw the snowflake idea-- off of someones blog probably, and I went out to get me a snowflake stamp with my 40% off coupon. So simple but makes a nice ornament.  I made this after the kids went to bed and I set a little table in front of me and watched an episode of Supernatural while rolling and stamping.

I'm ready to put away the tree and decorations, to get the house back to normal again. I went out the day after Christmas to shop the clearance sales and use some of the gift cards we got. Stocked up on Christmas craft projects to put away for next year, Christmas cards, gift tags, and little bits and bobs for future stocking stuffers and party favors.  I have two January babies to shop for and I'm all done! Thanks clearance sales!

Looking forward to the new year and hope it will be a good one for us all.

Happy New Year!!



Commence Christmas Music!

December 1st and we're getting into the spirit! The tree is up, the Advent Calendar is hung, cookie recipes are calling my name...  It's beginning to feel like Christmas around here! Even Andrew is getting elfish!

Even though Andrew is now working, it doesn't mean that we are spend, spend, spending.  We are still frugal with our money, and I shopped for gifts the whole year, scoring items on sale or with coupons to make it an even sweeter deal.  I'm pretty much done with gifts for the kiddos this year, but I still have a few items I need to pick up for other family members. 

Despite repeated requests not to exchange gifts, we have relatives that insist on giving the children something and I always feel bad not having anything in return. I know it's the season of giving, but I always feel like I'm taking and taking and not giving. So I am trying hard this year to come up with some simple gifts that are thoughtful and appreciated, without feeling like I've just drained the bank account.  I don't spend a whole lot on my own children, so it makes no sense to me to spend a lot on my nieces and nephews. It doesn't mean I love them any less-- on the contrary, I am putting a lot of love into what I am making/creating and hoping they'll like what I've come up with.

Andrew has an Aunt that just loooooves snickers-- I plan on making a cloth bucket and filling it with  full-size snickers candy bars for her.  Simple, yet it will be something I know she'll enjoy, and it didn't cost a lot of money, because I used coupons for the candy bars, and it was just a little bit of time at the sewing machine.  I'll be making several similar gifts like this for the Aunts and Uncles, for the ones that have a sweet tooth and put their favorite candies inside them.

For the kiddos-- I have group gifts for them to share, but I'd like to get them all something special for individual gifts.  I'm still thinking and working on that.  I can't say too much here, but I have a few ideas up my sleeve.

 I get to go out all by myself next week-- a rarity now that Andrew is working and I have to wait for a day off, and I'll be picking up items and stopping at the fabric store for a few things.  I don't want to take the kids with me-- they'll see items I want to keep a surprise.  And I must admit, Peter is not the best shopping companion. Whew! He's a handful, that one!  I don't enjoy shopping with him along, I get all flustered and frustrated and I end up forgetting items on my list, or errors are made with the coupons and I end up paying more than I should have, but I can't figure out what went wrong when I am wrestling with a squirmy, screamy toddler that just wants me to let him go and get. down. now. Just reading that last sentence makes me want to go lie down!  He's a great kid, I know he just wants to run and explore and if mama wants to shop, it's not a good combination! Better to leave him at home where he's on familiar turf and I can do my thing in peace.

I have Christmas music playing on my internal radio and I love when the kids tell me they hear certain songs on the radio. They still believe in the magic of Christmas and they were so excited when the tree went up. Now it's the battle of the wills between parents and kids at getting them to leave. the. tree. alone. I actually went so far as to take off the garland and tears were flowing, "I'll be good, I'll be good!  No, mama! Please! We won't touch the tree anymore!" I left it off a day before putting it back up and it worked for a while.  The threat has lost its' power now, so the newest warning is: Any bad behavior and you have to take an ornament off the tree!  So far so good!

I've been thumbing through recipe books, looking for new ideas for cookies and bars.  Before kids (B.K.), I used to make hundreds of cookies and give them as gifts.  After kids (A.K.), I'm lucky if I can make a couple of batches and then fend off the hungry cookie monsters. If anyone got a dozen cookies, they're the lucky ones! This year, I have a good feeling I'll be able to make more than a few batches.  I have some cookie ideas bubbling up in that brain of mine and can't wait to make a test batch.

I made eggnog spice cake the other day and man oh man! Is that ever good!!  Moist and flavorful, and I get that great eggnoggy taste I love in every bite! It's a keeper!  Anything cooked in a bundt pan looks great and we love cake that requires no frosting! The only thing is I would cook it a little longer next time, 40-45 minutes isn't long enough, I'll try 50-55 minutes next time. 

Any good cookies recipes you want to share? I'd love to try new ones!

Sewing For Me!

A couple of weeks ago, I "discovered" a new-to-me blog: No Big Dill   She only just had a baby and during the time she's recovering from childbirth and adjusting to a new baby at home, she was posting past tutorials. Pretty nice stuff, but when I saw the tutorial for her Billy Cardi, I fell in love with it! I couldn't stop thinking about it. The only thing stopping me from making it was lack of fabric. I rummaged through my fabric bin looking for at least 2 yards of fabric and couldn't find anything, unless I wanted flannel spaceships in baby blue. I had a coupon from Joann's for 50% off burning a hole in my pocket so on the very last day the coupon expired, I managed to convince Andrew to take me to Joann's so I could get some fabric.

I considered cotton knit fabric, but with colder weather coming, I couldn't help but think it would be great in fleece. I have two fleece shirts I love wearing during the winters, so warm without being bulky, so making the Billy Cardi in fleece? I had to try it!

I followed the tutorial exactly, cutting up an old long-sleeve shirt for the pattern. No problems with sewing it up-- I cut and sewed this in one evening after the kids went to bed. The only issue I have with it is, because I based the pattern on a shirt, the sleeves and shoulders fit snugly and wearing a long sleeve shirt under it make it too snug. Fits perfectly when I wear a t-shirt underneath it. I want to make another one and this time I'll make the pattern just a bit bigger so I can use it over long sleeve shirts and as a jacket on not-so-cold days.

Otherwise? I love it! It's nice and comfy. I love the longer sleeves, which easily fold up when I need to do dishes or cook. The fleece is so warm and I find I am choosing to wear it at night over my usual sweater.



Warm dark brown fleece



With contrasting turquoise blue thread.

I added the zig-zag edging just for a little extra pop.

I like the way the shoulders were sewn together, mine are not perfectly even, but who'll know if I don't say anything? Well, so now you know!

I used zig-zag stitching on the edges of the front and up around the neck.

Really love those longer sleeves.

One of the other nice things about fleece is there is no hemming required, it doesn't fray! yay!

Less sewing for me!

This is quickly becoming my favorite sweater and with the ease of how it all came together, it will not be the only one either! As soon as I can get my hands on some more fleece, I'm definitely making another one!

Like Mother, Like Son

Poor Peter.  He's allergic to poison ivy, too!  

I couldn't tell at first, because I thought maybe his belly and legs were scratched up from climbing the fallen trees, but checking a couple of days later, it was definitely spreading, definitely a rash.  So we made an appointment for him with the same Doctor I went to, and sure enough, he has the same diagnosis. Poison Ivy allergy, just like his mama.

For the next 13 days, we'll be taking our medicines in the morning and lucky for me, he has no trouble with taking his in liquid form.

Looks like we both will have to be more careful when we play outside in the woods.  Hopefully, since he's only 3, he'll grow out of it, maybe, if he's lucky. Until then, I'll do my best to keep him away from poison ivy.

Sorry, kiddo. I know you can't understand just why mama won't let you run free and wild in the woods, but trust me when I say you can't.  We'll stay on the trails or we'll find some other thing to do, ok?

Thinking Out Loud

I thought summer was pretty hectic, turns out Fall is even more so! Why does it seem like there are multiple events happening on the same weekends? Makes it so hard to decide what to do, which to attend, which is more important, which would be fun for the kids. Most of the time though, money is the deciding factor-- entrance fees? gas? eating out?

This coming weekend is my high schools' Homecoming and an informal 20th class reunion (20 years? No way!). My high school was sort of an international school-- students came from all over the country, some from other countries.  Kind of makes it hard to get together for reunions when many of us are all spread out, as opposed to a local school and say, 75% of the students still live in the area.

We had a 10-year reunion, which had a pretty good turn-out. But only because there was a major event happening and most of us were coming into town anyway. This year, however, it's just a plain ol' Homecoming game. A lot of classmates are pushing for a cruise for our 25th reunion. Honestly? I'll probably never go on a cruise of my own choosing, preferring to travel by car or train to my destination, fly if I have to, but a cruise? No thanks. Too expensive and just not my thing. So why would I cough up big dough for a class reunion held on a ship? Did we graduate on the ship? I still have small children to think of-- 5 years from now, Peter will be 8;  my children will not be grown up and out of the house and I'm high on the hog with money to spare. I'd rather see the old school and all the changes that have been done. Several of the dorms have been torn down and new things have happened, I'd like to see that in person, not go on a ship in the middle of the ocean.

I planned on going to the Homecoming, but then I realized it's the same night as the shopping night for consignors at the consignment store. I worked my tail off gathering all the too-small, or fits-but-no-one-will-wear-it clothing, washed them, hung them on hangers, tagged and priced them, then took them to the shop to be scanned in by hand. Do you know what kind of miracles had to be performed just to accomplish all that with 4 children underfoot? What kind of sleep I gave up? Before we got there, I had told myself that there wouldn't be any shopping this year-- we can't afford it, definitely won't take the kids in or we'll never hear the end of their begging for something that's not a necessity.  But then, while there, I looked around and I saw a few things-- winter shoes for the kids (they can't wear flip-flops forever!), a set of books for our book-loving Evelyn, and even a few items that could be put away for Christmas, if I can get it before anyone else does.  Surely we can manage to scrounge up enough to purchase a few items. Consignment store prices aren't that high!

What's more important-- things our children need/want?  Or going to a Homecoming where only 10 or 15 of my class show up? I'm already heavily leaning to the first choice, and at the same time, the whiny girl inside me reallllly wants to go, no matter who will be there. I know for a fact that my friend from since 6th grade will be there, and a close friend is coming down for it. Some classmates that'd I'd really like to see aren't coming-- they live too far away, but swear that they'll come for the 25th cruise (rolling my eyes).  Don't really care about the others... yes, it'd be good to see them and at the same time-- eh, who cares. In all these years, since the 10th reunion, I've only kept in contact, close contact, as in talk-at-least-once-a-month contact, with maybe 5 school mates.

I feel like going to the Homecoming is selfish. I'd be driving 3 hours to go to DC, spend a couple hours hugging people I know but don't like enough to keep in touch with, repeating the same "here's what I've been up to lately" story over and over, fielding comments like, "yup, 4 kids! Who would have thunk it!" and "No, sorry, you don't know my husband, he's hearing" (it's a Deaf thing, to always ask who your spouse is, maybe they'll know him/her). It's nothing official, no plans in place to meet at a certain location, no eating arrangements, except a tentative maybe "let's go to the bar down the street", of which I'll bow out of, since I have to drive, and no idea who will actually be there since no one seems to be replying to the class Facebook page.

Yeah, it's more likely I won't go. I'll have to send an email to my 6th grade friend and gracefully bow out of attending.  My family comes first. I can't see making things more financially difficult for us by spending money on a 6 hour trip to see people that can't be bothered to reply to a simple request. And if I don't really care about seeing them, one way or the other, then why would I want to go in the first place? There. Problem solved.

Another Year Gone

My birthday has come and gone.

Another year wiser, I hope.

Family came two days in a row to help celebrate my birthday.

That's the best gift right there-- spending time with family.

My kids gave me hand made cards-- so precious!

I made cake Friday to share with my Aunt, her birthday was on the 7th.

It was german chocolate, her favorite.

The kids wanted to know why it was called "german" chocolate and we explained about different chocolates and locales and Germany. Andrew went on to tell them that they are part German, since Andrew and I both are part German.

Sylvia piped up, "And now since I'm eating [german chocolate] cake, I'm even more German!"

Too funny!

I made a second cake on Saturday, to share with my Father-in-Law. His birthday was on the 10th.

This time it was both of our favorites-- Pineapple Upside Down cake. yum!

I don't need much, as long as I have my loved ones, I'm happy.

Here's to another year!

Old Rotten

I'm hungry.

I sit here sipping chicken broth because I cannot eat normal food right now. I have a big hole in my mouth where a tooth should be. I broke a tooth a while back, but it didn't bother me and so I left it alone, not going to the dentist because a) we have no dental insurance and b) we have no money for expensive dental repairs/bills.

More than a month ago, a small dull ache would come and go in that tooth. I'd promptly gargle with hydrogen peroxide or warm salt water, and the pain would go away. Then the pain wouldn't leave. I'd try everything-- brushing, flossing, gargling-- to no avail. Then came the pill-popping, downing 2 aspirin, then 3, and I'd feel better again. But the last couple of days was the absolute worse-- tossing and turning, the pain radiating up to my brain and my ears, throbbing and pounding. No pill would help and every movement just made it worse.  I'd bend down to pick something up and the blood would rush to that tooth and pound some more. Peter's screeching was a whole 'nother level of pounding. Something needed to be done.

I had visions of dying because of my rotten, old tooth. Old Rotten getting all infected and sending armies of germ soldiers carrying yellow puss-filled buckets and dumping it onto my brain, causing me to die and leave my four young children mother-less. I saw my children and husband crying at my grave site and inscribed on my tombstone, instead of my name, Rotten Old Tooth. I was losing it!

If we had the money, I would go for the root canal. Painful, yes. Expensive, yes. But I'd still have my tooth. But we are barely making ends meet, every bit of money going for gas, bills, food. The cheaper option is to have it pulled. So, Old Rotten is now in a shiny, plastic, white container, shaped like a tooth. I attempted to nap earlier, but with four children, naps for mamas are impossible. Sylvia asked me if my tooth was under my pillow, sweet child. Maybe I will put it under my pillow tonight. Might get lucky.

So, the pain. I feel better. No more throbbing aches, no more little trolls pounding on my head. I inhale and the cool air doesn't hurt my tooth. My mouth is numb still, I can taste blood, and it feels different inside my mouth, a big gaping hole where Old Rotten used to be. Am I happy? Not really. I would have liked to try and save Old Rotten. Instead of visions of germ soldiers, I now have visions of a future me, my falsies popping out when I laugh, my children giggling when my teeth are soaking in a glass while I sleep.

I used to wonder how people let their teeth go bad. I have the answer now.

Family Game Night: LIFE

Now that the kids are getting older, we're breaking out some of the games that require more than climbing ladders and sliding down chutes. We have longed for the day we can gather around the table and play games that we remember playing with our own families growing up.

We recently played LIFE with the girls and they love it!

We're skipping over some of the complicated bits, like getting insurance and stocks, but otherwise, playing the game as usual. They get especially pleased when they get married and they plot how to get the wheel to stop on a certain number so they can have children.

 We usually have to set Peter up with some toys or put a movie in for him, or else he gets into a screaming fit and starts swiping every one's money, which gets the girls screaming, which gets me screaming. ahem.  Anyway, it's pretty fun to watch how the girls arrange the "people" in their cars.  As soon as Gretchen gets married, she puts her husband in the driver's seat.



Money, money, money!

Gretchen loves the money!  She could have eight 100,000 bills, but if she has no other bills, she thinks she's so poor and cries that she has no money. She's only happy when she has several bills of each color. Silly girl!

We've played this quite a few times, and I think they're ready for a game of Monopoly soon.

 All of our games are older, either mine from when I was a kid, or Andrew's from his childhood, or games we pick up from yard sales and thrift shops. We like the older games better. The girls recently played LIFE at a friend's house with a newer game set, and my girls complained it wasn't the same as ours. I just told them that we had an older game and sometimes the manufacturers update the games and make them look different.

Do you have memories of a certain game and remember how much fun it was, then play it again as an adult and it's the most boring game ever??  My husband and I both have a game like that in our past.  His is Mousetrap and mine is a game called Mystery Mansion. I'd never played Mousetrap before and he went on and on about how much fun it was, so we bought a new game and started playing it and I kept waiting for the fun part to start. He looked at me sheepishly and admitted it wasn't as fun as he remembered it. My sister and I spent hours, hours! playing Mystery Mansion. You built the mansion as you go along, looking for secret passageways and treasure. Sometimes you'd find a chest and it would have just cobwebs in it, or the secret passageway would take you down to the scary dungeon. I couldn't wait to show Andrew how to play this super fun game and then when I broke it out and we started playing it, I realized it was our imaginations that made this game so much fun. I'll give it to the girls and see if they like playing it and hopefully their imaginations will make Mystery Mansion as much fun for them as it used to be for me.

Happy To Be Back!

It's amazing to me that as soon as we flip the calendar page to September, the weather seems to flip, too. While I'm a little sad to say good-bye to summer, I admit, I love these cooler days and nights. We haven't needed to use the A/C in several weeks and I've had to put light blankets on all the beds because we all seem to wake up just a tad chilled.

Lately, after dinner, we have been walking in the woods again. It was too hot and muggy to do it during the summer, plus the gnats and mosquitoes are quite ferocious here and it just doesn't make for an enjoyable walk. It's so nice to walk out after dinner as a family and be together, enjoying nature's changing of the seasons. I almost feel like I need to shield my children's eyes as Mother Nature sheds her leaves and bares her naked limbs.

 We have a young black walnut tree growing in the middle of the garden area. I'm torn about cutting it down. As it grows, it will shade the garden, but-- it's a walnut tree!!  All this time I thought it was one of those fast-growing weed trees and we have been putting off cutting it down because we wanted to let it grow just a little bit thicker and get a little more firewood out of it, but this year it sprouted black walnuts for the first time! Pretty impressive for a young tree that's only 3 years old. I counted more than 25 walnuts hanging off the branches. What to do, what to do? We have other walnut trees, but many are old with rotten limbs and not producing a lot of walnuts anymore. I'll probably just procrastinate another year and see what happens in the garden shade-wise.

Is there anything more precious than seeing your children holding hands?

I predict many more after dinner walks in the woods with the family.

***

I've missed this little space I have here. I missed writing and reading your comments. I really needed this time away, to not think I needed to blog every little thing and appreciate time with my family. We did a lot together this summer-- spent every single day of July in the pool; went to the county fair; lost teeth, celebrated birthdays, spent time with friends, enjoyed cook-outs... but most importantly, we were together. There's nothing I love more than being with my family.

I hope you all had a great summer, too. I am looking forward to what the future holds and what Fall may bring to me and my family.

*

Fits and Starts

The pool is up!! It's just the right size for all of the kids this year. The water comes up to Peter's neck when he stands, so one less child to fret over in the pool. The kids have all improved since last year and they are swimming like fish. Sylvia is still the ever cautious one, though, and she rarely dunks her head underwater.

A cute picture of Lucy the cat. She likes to sleep in this little wooden crate. No idea where it came from, but the kids brought it out one day, didn't bring it back in, and Lucy has claimed it for her own. She caught a small woodpecker the other day. She's the huntress of the outdoor cats. Always voles, mice, chipmunks and, sometimes, birds, left around the food table for us to find. Turned the dead woodpecker into a biology lesson for the kids. It's tongue was hanging out and you could see little "thorns" on the tip of it. Makes it perfect for sticking in holes to skewer a bug and pull out. It was a pretty little bird, don't mind when Lucy catches mice or voles, but I always feel bad when it's a chipmunk or a bird.

This is the garden. ~sigh~ I'm so behind on my weeding! This is my potato patch. I checked and all the potatoes are growing strong, many are over a foot high and thick, just need to weed and hill them.

My solitary row of cabbage and broccoli. Heads are forming nicely, if I hurry and weed, this may be my first year at harvesting some cabbage and broccoli.

This is going to be the tough weeding job-- my onions are buried in there somewhere. I haven't weeded since hurting my back and hip, and then the poison ivy attack that left me in itchy fits. I haven't wanted to go outside much since all that happened. Slowly catching up, now, the tomatoes have been weeded and tied, lots of small green ones, hoping to have some ripe ones by July. Peppers are mostly weeded and I see lots of buds and a few tiny peppers growing. All out of frozen peppers in the freezer, so I'll be keeping an eye out for peppers at the farm stand. Last year, they could be found $1 for 4, if I can score them again for that price this year, I'll be stocking up.

Just about missed most of the mulberries this year. Still some left and I've picked, juiced, and froze 8 cups of mulberry juice so far. I'd like to double that if I can. Wild blackberries are coming in now and I've picked a nice bucketful. A few more bucketfuls would be nice.

Finally started on the chicken fence project. I got the two gate posts in and cemented. Going to work on the gate door next. Hopefully the fencing goes up this week. I'll be sure to wear long pants and long sleeves and then shower with poison ivy oil remover right after to prevent another outbreak of itchy rash. Still on meds, another few days and it's all gone. The rashes are fading, but they're still itchy. Just left with numerous healing little sores from all my scratching fits when I broke skin and where the blisters burst.

Kids are pestering me about going in the pool now. It's a blessing and a curse, keeps the kids amused, but forces me to hang about and supervise when I'd rather be elsewhere doing some other project. At least the blackberries are nearby, I guess now's the time to pick some more.

~Later..

So That's It!!

After more than a week of miserably trying not to scratch, tossing and turning at night, and trying every over-the-counter poison ivy medicine I could find (Tecnu's Poison Ivy Scrub is great!), my rash continued to spread and get worse by the day.

Blisters broke out along my wrist and spread to my fingers. I had to take my wedding ring off, the blisters were so bad. I had rashes spread from my chest to the sides of my breasts under my armpits, down to my back, the back of my knees, my thighs, my crotch, butt, arms, shoulders, ears, ankles, agggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Enough is enough! I'll pay the damn doctor bill, anything, just give me some relief!! I found a free clinic not too far from us, though why they call it "free" when there is indeed a bill to pay, I'll never know. Called them up and explained I have no health insurance, but I'm desperate and do they treat poison ivy rashes? They do, so made an appointment for 2:15 this afternoon.

I had to bring my tax papers, to verify my income and see if we qualify for lower billing rates. Filled out all the forms and then I saw the doctor. What a guy!! He was very nice and funny and really enlightened me to my itchy condition: I'm ALLERGIC to poison ivy! I also discovered that I am not contagious like I thought I was. Once you've bathed and washed off the poison ivy oil, you are no longer contagious to people around you. huh. If the blisters pop, there is nothing in the liquid oozing from the blister that will pass on poison ivy to other people I may touch. huh. All that blather we've heard about poison ivy being contagious is a bunch of hooey!

But!! If you get poison ivy on your clothes, lie down on the bed, get up and someone else lies down on the bed, then it's possible for that person to get poison ivy, see? Once you wash the clothing, the bedding and yourself, you're safe. Fifteen minutes after touching poison ivy, the oil gets under your skin and the rash you get results from your body's reaction to the urushiol oil, not because you touched the first spot then touched your chin or your leg or your arm.

Anyway, I got my prescription meds, $5 for 12 days of steroids which should take effect 12 hours after the first dosage (3 am, I look forward to meeting you!). I expected to pay $85 for the visit plus $5 for the meds, which is what they quoted us on the phone when we told them I had no health insurance. Guess what? We qualified for the medical bill payment assistance and reduced rates and the visit and future visits will cost $1 per visit! So today's visit only cost us $6 including the meds! Do you know what a relief that is to me?? I was already feeling guilty making the appointment in the first place, thinking I should tough it out, and it makes me feel so much better that I made the right decision to go. "Toughing it out" would have taken forever with my poison ivy allergy.

So, now I'm on the road to recovery, though I'm still itchy at this point, but no longer afraid to touch my kids, cook meals and do other normal mama stuff. I'm a bit nervous about poison ivy now, but I'll just have to be more cautious around it and diligent in making sure the kids stay away from areas with poison ivy, stay inside when Andrew burns underbrush, and wash his clothing (and then myself) right away. I also won't dilly-dally about going to the doctor now, knowing that I can afford the visit and the meds.

Here's to a speedy recovery to me! :o)
~

Photographic Proof

I'm still in my poison ivy induced misery. I toss and turn at night, fighting urges to scratch and spend the day trying not to touch anyone and making frequent baking soda and vinegar pastes to help soothe the itch. In my research, I found that most poison ivy rashes last around 2 weeks. 2 weeks?!? I think I'm on day 3 or 4...


These photos were taken yesterday and it's spread a little more today. My face, although worse, doesn't seem to itch much. I also have spots on both eye lids, and I am very very careful not to itch those at all.

This looks nothing like it looks now. It's about four times as bad as it looks here. The rash has spread down to my fingers and up my arm. Hundreds of tiny little blisters all over my arm up to my arm pits.

Yesterday, the rash was mostly on the left side on my chest and now has spread to all over my chest and starting to creep down my right arm. It goes up and around my neck, under my chin and stops just under my lip.

I've started wearing long sleeves and I keep my hair up tight, securing stray hairs with a headband. The hairs tickle and make me itch more, so up they go. I am also wearing latex gloves when I do things around the house, fearful of contaminating the dishes or the laundry-- it's that bad.

Picked cherries at the local orchard on Friday and then I wore gloves to pit them and freeze them. I don't dare touch the jars and canning equipment with my rash-covered fingers. I'll make my cherry-almond jam later. My cousin and a friend were supposed to come up and learn how to make and can mulberry jam. I've cancelled that and will pick berries and freeze enough for making jam later, when I am rash free.

If anyone knows any sure-fire tricks to speed up healing, please shoot them my way.

~

Must.Not.Scratch.

Absolutely the worst case of poison ivy I've ever had, period! Cripes! I've never, ever had it so bad before and spread over so much of my body. Usually just a little spot and then after a couple days of anti-itch cream, it's gone. Not so this time. I must have not caught it fast enough or I've gotten sensitive or what, but holy cow, this stuff itches!!

It's spread all up and down my left arm, the worst of it on the inside of my wrist, though it is spreading to my fingers fast and that's starting to bother me. It's gone from my upper arm and hopped over to my chest and up my neck, chin and sides of my face. A little spot on my left eye-lid. Because when I go to the bathroom and wipe with my left hand, I now have a bit of poison ivy rash very near my crotch and a little on my bum. A small bit jumped to my right arm, but not much-- knock on wood!

My legs were really itchy a few days ago, but that's mostly stopped now. Just a little bit left on my left thigh, not too far from that spot near my crotch.

I've learned much about poison ivy lately, doing my search online for itching remedies and double checking my symptoms. Did you know that just a quarter of an ounce can make the entire population itch?? Just a little tiny dab of urushiol, the oil in poison ivy, oak and sumac plants, the size of a pin-head, can make 500 people itch?? Ancient chinese people built a golden temple and painted the gold with lacquer tainted with urushiol, so if anyone stole any, they'd look for someone with a rash!

I am finding relief with a paste made from baking soda and vinegar, benadryl, and anti-itch cream for when I go to bed. I use rubbing alcohol, too, which helps to dry out the rash.

I have accidentally passed on the rash to Peter and Sylvia, which makes sense-- I usually pick up and carry Peter and Sylvia still comes to me for soothing hugs and affection. Evelyn, Gretchen, and Andrew are rash-free, for now. I tell them to steer clear of me and I pray I don't pass it on to them.

For now, I am fighting every urge not to scratch the itch and getting after Peter, whose rash is starting to get worse because he doesn't understand why he shouldn't scratch. I see him scratch his butt, where the worst rash is, then scratch his face. Pretty soon he'll look like me if I don't stop him somehow.

Excuse me while I run a bath for Peter and soak him in baking soda.

~

Check, Check, and Check!

A poison ivy rash slowly spreads along my arm and what began as a little spot has morphed into a trail creeping down my arm. I feel an itch and my willpower is unable to stifle the urge to scratch. The caution I tell the kids, "stay away from the poison ivy!" Should have been the warning I heeded myself!

Little by little, things are getting caught up around here. The nearly 2 weeks I was laid up from hip and back pain left a lot of unfinished projects. The weeds have nearly taken over the garden! I hope to get out there tomorrow and beat back the weeds.

Yesterday and today was spent prepping the pool area. After last year's fiasco with the water escaping from the pool, we were determined to make sure the ground was perfectly level this time around. I know the garden takes priority over the pool, but the pool keeps the kids occupied so I can do other things without interruption! We shoveled and removed several wagon-fulls of dirt and then smoothed and leveled the ground. Checked and double checked with a level and it's good!

Today we put the kids to work cleaning the grime left from last year. If only my work could be as much fun as their work!! We squirted dish soap on the bottom of the pool, added water and then they slipped, slided, and scrubbed their way around the pool! They were thoroughly soaked and cooled off on this very hot day and the pool is nice and shiny clean again! We'll call the pool water guy to come out, hopefully tomorrow, and then I can do my work while the kids play.

Earlier, since it was too hot to do anything outdoors, we made a run to the hardware store to pick up a few things I need for the chicken fence. I've thought and thought and looked at ideas on the internet and finally came up with a solution for the gate I need to make. Maybe tomorrow when it's too hot to hoe and weed in the garden, I'll sit in the shade and work on my gate.

It feels good to check things off my To-Do list again!

The local orchard just advertised their cherries in the paper today!!! If I had my way, I'd be there RIGHT NOW picking cherries, but more likely, I'll be there Friday morning, maybe Saturday. Can't wait!! There goes another check after I make my cherry-almond jam. Yum!

Hope you're getting things checked off your own To-Do list!

Brush Hogging

Our friend came over with his brush cutter to help us clear away brambles and brush around our property. Priority was the space behind the chicken coop where we plan to fence the chickens in.

It's amazing how powerful that cutter is and how quickly it mowed everything down. Andrew pulled out fallen logs and big branches on the ground and also pulled down vines creeping up tree trunks while Jim brush hogged away.

Here it is, all cleared. They continued to brush hog around the corner to the right of this photo, until the engine back-fired and then sputtered to a stop. Oh dear. They got a good section cleared, but still much to do. He'll come back after the holiday after he looks at the engine and gets it up and running again.

Haven't done any fencing yet. My back has been bothering me for some time now, then Tuesday evening I was in excruciating pain. My hip quivered in pain at every step and by the time I put the kids to bed, it was screaming. I went downstairs to put a load in the wash and couldn't make it back up the steps. Lucky for me, Andrew arrived home and heard me on the stairs and helped me up the last few steps.

Looking up back/hip pain leaves too many possibilities, but I suspect a pinched nerve. I rested as much as I could on Wednesday and felt somewhat better on Thursday, so I ran errands-- grocery store and picked up Percy at the Vet's. Big mistake, the position of my leg in the car did not help and by the time I returned home, my hip was quivering in pain again. Another day tied to the heating pad and resting as much as four children allow me to has helped immensely. I find it helps to keep moderately mobile, as keeping still only stiffens the joint and I need to warm up all over again. Warming up hurts. Getting out of the bed in the morning is almost comical and then hobbling over to the toilet and back is something else entirely.

As of now, I am operating on 50% power. I want so much to DO stuff, but I know I'll pay the price if I do. The garden needs weeding, the fence needs fencing, the house needs housing and the kids need parenting. I don't know what I'd do without Andrew, he's such a big help. I'm hoping tomorrow brings me another lift in power. I'd like to at least get some weeding done. I'll take it slowly and see how it goes.

Enjoy the long weekend!

~

13th

If I could do it all over again, I'd probably get married outside in a park somewhere, completely laid back and relaxed. Just family and a few close friends and we'd all chow down at a cook-out and a bonfire. I'd be in a simple dress, my hair down, a flower picked from nearby. He'd be himself: pants, a nice shirt. Definitely no bridesmaids or groomsmen.

We got married in a lovely church and had about 60 guests, but the reception part will always be disappointing to me. We held it in the basement of the church, which was fine, really. I wanted it to be simple and so we had ordered platters of sandwich fixins' and a sweet store-bought wedding cake. Unbeknownst to me, the night before, at the rehearsal, also held in the church basement, my soon-to-be-in laws ordered identical platters of sandwich fixin's for the rehearsal dinner.

I had labored on making a music mix tape and it never got played beyond the first song of "We Are Family" and we never had our first dance. The pastor left immediately after the ceremony, too sick to stay and join the celebration and the janitor rushed us along, anxious to clean, lock up and go home.

I always felt we got home too early, sometime around 4 and as Andrew and I sat in our apartment living room, surrounded by gifts, we didn't know what to do. It felt too soon to be alone, where was everybody? We went to the nearby mall to eat dinner at the food court. I didn't want to cook--I got married today!-- and I was in the mood for a pizza turnover and he wanted something else, so to the food court we went. To this day I still think it's funny to see our car in the mall parking lot with 'Just Married' written on the back window.

Looking back, I got caught up in the traditional wedding arrangements. I was determined to not spend money we didn't have, but I wanted the wedding I thought I was supposed to have. We paid for everything up front-- there was no debt after the wedding was over, and I am proud of that, but I look at those pictures and I'm not sure who I'm looking at. My hair was all curled and fixed up and my face painted. Andrew was all gussied up in a rented tuxedo. Bridesmaids in lime green dresses and groomsmen in more rented tuxes. We look like a nice couple, but it isn't who we really are.

Part of me thought that it would be a once in a lifetime chance to dress up and get my hair fixed and get married to a man in a tux. But now? Who cares about the clothes! I have a dress hanging in my closet that I'll never wear again-- thank goodness I only paid $75 for it. I have shoes and make-up I bought just for the wedding that never got used again. The wedding didn't really reflect who we were and I really think that we were being who we thought we were supposed to be that day.

I don't regret that day, we did get married after all. These 13 years together have been wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing. All of the happy moments, the rough spots, the time spent together, the children we created, the home we have made for each other-- all of it was meant to be. I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else. He loves me exactly the way I am, never asks me to be who I'm not. I never have to pretend around Andrew. He never has to be anyone else but himself around me.

I love who we are, the family we have become together and what we stand for. Thank you for asking me to marry you and for being my husband these 13 years. Happy Anniversary Andrew! May we have many, many more! I love you!

~