Take a Deep Breath and Hold It...

If you have ever wondered what skunk smells like, you have come to the right place! Last night, being such a cool night with a lovely breeze blowing through, we had all the windows open. I was on the Video Phone talking to one of my girlfriends and the girls were tucked away and sleeping. Then I smelled it. Faint, at first. A whiff of skunk wafting in through the windows. It was just a whiff and then it passed. I didn't pay it any mind. It was like driving on the highway at 60 mph and you pass a dead skunk on the side of the road; a whiff of skunk and then it's gone.

Then it came again, stronger. Have you ever vacuumed the carpet and got a string caught up in the rolling brush and then the brush gets caught and you get that burning rubber smell? It was sorta, kinda, a little bit like that, only STRONGER! With a dash of stink-bug mixed in. You know, that ugly black beetle that scurries around on the basement floor and then you smash it with the nearest handy item and it releases that stink. Ugh! Add in a sprinkle of burnt, and I do mean black, toast and I think you've got the idea what skunk smells like.

That smell got stronger and stronger and the poor eyes started watering. I told my friend there was a skunk outside and she told me she could smell it, too! That's how strong it was! The smell stayed and lingered like an unwelcome guest eating up all your food and then scrounging around in your pantry and digging out your secret stash of chocolate covered cherries. It spilled itself all over the couch and refused to leave, instead, falling asleep and bellowing out roars with every breath in and out. It marched into my nostrils and pulled on all my nose hairs and tied them into a hundred knots.

Hubby came home and said, "Must be a skunk out there." Really????? I couldn't tell.


We went to bed knowing the smell would fade away, riding away on the breeze, bothering some other poor soul's nose. How wrong we were! We woke to the smell of skunk. It's a lovely smell first thing in the morning-- a real eye-opener. Apparently the cat tangled with the skunk. Poor Lucy reeks of skunk. I made the mistake of petting her and no matter how many times I wash my hands, I can still smell skunk on my palms. Apparently they tangled right outside the office sliding door, so every time I come in to check the computer, read some blogs, I have to sit and mingle with the smell of skunk, like being introduced over and over to the same drunken cad who can't remember your name but remembers to give you a slobbery kiss as he leaves and you're left with a dripping wet cheek and no towel to wipe it off.

If there was a 'scratch and sniff' option, you'd do well not to scratch and sniff. You'd back away and run quickly in the opposite direction. In fact, you wouldn't even need to scratch... it's burning through. I can't take it anymore. I'm going to douse myself in my favorite perfume and close the office door. I'll be buying a couple quarts of tomato juice tomorrow. Imagine how poor Lucy must feel...